Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
