i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
