Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
