I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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