using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
