She said her name was "party"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
