I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
