Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
