sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
