Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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