Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
