I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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