Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
