Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
BRING THE BAGELS
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
