i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
