You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
