someone threw a dead crab at me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
