You made me cry and you don't even care
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
