i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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