Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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