Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
