Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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