I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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