Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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