He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
