i need an iv and a liver transplant
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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