college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
