We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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