I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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