New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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