Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
