I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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