i jhust puked up my retainher.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
