Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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