i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
