no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
