there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
