I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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