I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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