I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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