no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
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You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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