Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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