She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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