can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
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