38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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