I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
