he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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