someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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