Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
