My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
