What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
