Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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