so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
