is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
