its not stalking. its research.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
