She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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