I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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