How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
