If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
