i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
