I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
